Driving in Italy
Driving in Italy requires two things. An abundance of courage, and a complete lack of shame. Without these, my polite and perplexed foreign motorist, nought but fear and chaos shall you endure.
Like so many things in Italy, the rules are often treated as guidelines. Their presence is designed to provide a rough suggestion for how things should work, but if a better solution presents itself then that is how things will be done. And what is the ideal driving experience, in the mind of the Italian? Perpetual forward momentum. Above all else, one must always strive for movement while driving. Braking is weakness.
For example, Italy has plenty of stop signs. But instead of approaching the intersection expecting to have to at least give way, drivers will roll towards the line as they wait to see if the other car will blink and brake first. This constant game of vehicular chicken is exhausting at first, but after a while you come to expect it. Dare I say, even respect it.
If it is your right of way, have courage. The other car will (usually) stop. But if you hesitate for even a moment, they will go ahead of you.
You will even start to notice that Italian drivers are constantly sizing you up. If your car has visible hire company stickers, you will be shown no mercy. People will overtake you on roundabouts, one lane streets, in the carpark, etc. I am confident that this is the main reason most rental cars here have no branding. Sticker removal probably reduced collisions by a hefty percentage.
The more 'foreign' you look, the more courageous you have to be to maintain your position on the road. But don't worry, you'll soon be doing your own rapid driver assessments. You will quickly learn not to underestimate the nonna in the Fiat Panda. She might not have the acceleration, but she takes no prisoners when it comes to power merging.
Italian drivers literally have no shame. As an Australian, if I ended up in the wrong lane to make a turn then I would probably just go straight and try to find another way to get to where I was going. Not here. I've seen people come to a complete stop in the overtaking lane on the autostrada, put the hazard lights on, and proceed to merge across three lanes to take an exit that they only just realised they were supposed to be on.
You will regularly see cars stopped in the small triangular area between the freeway and the exit as they consult their GPS to decide whether to exit or go on. Often they will then have to reverse back in order to build up enough momentum to rejoin the other cars all going at 130kph.
The lack of shame is a positive in that passive aggression isn't really a thing. Drivers are either content with their state of flow, or are very clearly letting you know that you are in their way. If you sit in the overtaking lane on the autostrada and do less than 20kph above the speed limit, drivers coming up behind you (at the speed of sound) will flash their headlights at you as they approach. If the flashing lights don't elicit an immediate merge, they will give you a long blast of the horn. They really, really don't want to have to shift their foot from the accelerator to the brake.
Less positive is the complete lack of usage of indicators. Or adherence to lanes. These two things are linked. Lanes are suggestions, and indicators are therefore not really required. If you always assume that anyone may veer at any time into free space (or not free, as the case may sometimes be) then you'll be fine. In fact, my comprehensive use of indicators on the many roundabouts in Lucca when we first arrived seemed to cause more confusion than anything else.
Why is this brutta orange light flashing in my eyes? Just go where you need to go! We will figure it out.
I know many people find driving in Italy a stressful experience, but I have been quite enjoying it. I think you will too if you just remember the two key ingredients, courage and shame. Plenty of the former, complete suppression of the latter.
Honestly, this might have to be the first in a series of guides to driving in Italy. I haven't even touched on parking...